Me - You can't change unless you want to. To fix a problem you first have to admit that you have a problem.
Seeking changes is the single most powerful trait all humans share. We are constantly looking at the sections of our lives and seeking ways to improve things. Make things better. If not for ourselves then for others. In this way we ensure growth, individual growth, community growth, human growth. The growth we need to fulfill our destiny.
Every change requires some work. Our days are made up of habits. To change ourselves, we have to change at least one habit - make a bad habit a good one. To break a bad habit you need to institute a new good one and keep it for three weeks to ensure its investiture.
Put into 'Community of Excellence' verbiage: to change yourself you have to change something about your body, mind, heart, or soul - or some combination thereof.
So, what does it take to change?
First a decision to change. A mental, mindful, directive; i.e. "I will get into better shape." To do this one must use fat cells that are currently in stasis storing energy. The logical, mathematical, undeniable formula requires you to then burn more calories then you consume. To increase calorie burn you need to exercise. To consume less you need to diet. The two most commonly broken resolutions on Earth. Because these are good habits that need to replace bad ones, so you need more.
You need passion, an emotional commitment. The change has to be important enough to have you commit to doing new things for at least three weeks, and beyond. Unfortunately, passion is not subject to a mental directive, no matter how mindful. The heart powers the mind, not the other way around.
To change you have to bring your body and mind into compliance with your heart. This way you have power behind your focus on developing new habits.
Marcus - Within ten days thou wilt seem a god to those to whom thou art now a beast and an ape, if thou wilt return to thy principles and the worship of reason.
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4 comments:
Dad, this is a very timely post!
You are certainly correct that many resolutions end up broken due to "heart not being in it," or as you more eloquently put it, lack of passion. It reminds me of advice commonly given to smokers: "You have to WANT to quit before you can begin to try."
My question is whether you have any advice for how to bring the heart & mind into alignment? We can prioritize & focus on it; ie not reacting & losing our temper. But how can we assure that both our mind & heart remain aligned, so we can continually put these efforts into action until they become "good habits" and a regular part of our routine?
I understand passion is not a mental directive, but is there a strategy we can employ to fuel passion, or trick our mind if need be?
It seems to be our initial reaction, inclination, & autopilot tendencies that cause us to lose focus and break resolutions.
So is it not possible to first form a habit of consistently PAUSING before we react? ..or is this against human nature? I feel this Pause, or stall, would allow time for our conscious brain to kick in. The reason I ask is that while the investment of our heart may be necessary to achieve a goal that will benefit our wellbeing, it can also be our very downfall.
If we allow the heart to power the mind, rather than work side-by-side, couldn't this be dangerous? ie second-degree murder, "crime of passion," or for a less-severe example: We hear something we interpret as insulting or hurting our feelings & we react. BOOM.
Should we not ensure that our conscious brain has shown up before we chime in? (Respond vs. React)
I submit that we need both mind & the heart equally, as well as their alignment, in order to successfully accomplish big change in our lives - especially those challenges that are the most difficult to conquer, those we as individuals seem to fail time & time again at..
I have a theory that our inclination to grow spiritually in a specific area, unique & personal to each of us, comes from a deep place - maybe even an eternal part of our soul. The urge to improve seems to often present as Intuition, along with an ethereal-like certainty that we must try and accomplish this particular goal of ours. This yearned-for improvement can range from an obvious & tangible flaw, a subtle shortcoming, or even just a vague tendency that the individual him- or herself has trouble putting into words.. The defining characteristic would be that this particular challenge is one that the individual struggles with over any other.
I like to ponder on whether overcoming this challenge could be in itself, or directly related to, our life's purpose - Remedying that one habit we know in our heart of hearts we MUST change or improve in order to achieve our destiny? Maybe the purpose of our life here on Earth is so that our SOUL may grow, through dealing with challenges it would not have the ability to face once it has left this place...
So, if my theory is correct, we should all try to tackle the "Big One" so that we don't have to keep facing it & deciphering how to rise above it over & over & over again!
;) ..in our next human body? through transmutation? WHO KNOWS? Not us!
Lastly, I have meditated on how to identify that one personal goal we should try to accomplish, or improve upon, within our individual lifespans & I've come up with:
-If we're quiet, we can hear intuition, the whisper of our soul, nudging us towards it.
-It is usually the challenge that is absolutely the toughest, most mind-stumping for us to overcome/accomplish.. and you may see others having no trouble with it at all and wonder "Why is this so difficult for me?!" Take note when you feel that way.
-On that note, a wise woman once gave me this great advice: "The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he or she needs it."
If my post is timely, then yours is early - and very good. The questions you raise are very like the posts scheduled for the days ahead. Stay tuned.
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